Long removed from his natural habitat, this awkward looking migrated species wants more than anything to belong to the Swamp. With a longing akin to that of a teenage girl to Miley Cyrus, Crocodile Chucky would sell his soul, (for free)  if only the Devil would take it. If only he could be more important than he is, then maybe he too could live beneath the Murkey Waters of the Swamp.  Sadly, until he can prove his importance, he is restricted to wallowing in the muck that skirts the edges with hopes that his hidden past won’t be discovered before he can enter the depths. Meanwhile, In his spare time Creepy Chuck enjoys hanging out in doggie parks. He doesn't have a dog, but that's ok because it's the perfect place to reminisce about the adult years he spent with the Boyscouts and 4-H kids. It's also a good place to watch women. Women he can't wait to tattle on. He hates them all so much! He watches and waits to catch one doing something he thinks is wrong so he can report them to the police. Listen to his 911 calls  from the Doggie Park by clicking on the link below. 

In case you wonder where the name comes from, he calls himself "Chucky."  Everybody else just call him Ferret Face. If you don't have a chance in hell of winning custody of your child because perhaps  you're a narcissistic  psychopath, have a drug addiction or even if you’ve been convicted of sexually molesting your own child,  this GAL might be a good option for you.  Being a rather chauvenistic psychopath himself, Chucky will say anything he can think of to make even Mother Theresa look like a strung out drug addict and make you look like the returned Savior Himself-  regardless of the truth.  He believes the more lies he tells the sooner the Deep Swamp Dwellers will accept him as one of their kind and allow him beyond the petty ripply waves at the edge of the murk. Soon…very soon… any time now. Maybe it will be the stories he can spin for you that will finally earn his entry.   

We don't yet know how much it will cost you, but we will let you know as soon as we find out.  

Nathan Lynch

Officer Stalksalot aka “Newtnate” is Port Orchard Police Department officer #734 Nathan Lynch. Click his page link below to see videos of his assigned vehicle enter private property outside of his jurisdiction, while off duty. That happens to be against the Rules but this slimy little critter slithers right past those Rules for reasons yet to be discovered. 

It doesn’t help that Newtnate’s swampmate superiors are committing felonies by altering official records before handing them over.  You can see those altered documents and the evidence on his page.  

We have so much slimy evidence on this Slithering Stalker that he gets his own page, just like Creepy Crocodile Chucky!

Newtnate's swampmate superiors have their own pages but  those pages are still under construction. Check back soon or sign up to get an alert when we add them.

There are a whole lot of unsavory lifestyles in the Swampy Court of my backyard,  but no lifestyle is as lowly as that of the Dungistrator,  which spends its days digging through fact-turds, molding the stuff into balls, and rolling them around.

Click on Fiction-spinner Frank's button to learn more about his species.

Sally Olsen

Don't play games with "Salamander Sally.  Cloaked in a judges robe this slitherer likes to change the rules in the middle of your turn. But don’t worry she will change them back again just as soon as your turn is over. The rule change only applies to your turn not her turn and not anyone else's turn.  You have to play by the new rule even though it isn’t in effect yet,  and while you’re trying to figure that out;  there's no reason  anyone else needs to know the rules were temporarily changed. IAs soon as you can get your head around that,  well then she just eliminates the entire rule. 

Her attorney slash Guardian ad litem slash GAL mentor husband Steve has put a lot of time and effort into training and mentoring the Guardian ad litems on the local registry. Salamander Sally and her hubby Steve have earned a  fair amount of cash taking in those little remoras (bottom suckers) and training them to the ways of the Swamp.  Those little remoras come in handy cleaning up the swamp algae so don't plan on Salamander Sally having any desire for disciplining any of the swamp suckers who have taken a preference to munching on the innocent flora instead of the algae.

Find out more about why this swamp swimmer got caught in our net by clicking on the page dedicated to her by clicking the button below.

Cyndi Circelli

Gotta love this woman. Look past the brass attitude, deep down she's a creampuff.  It can't be easy having to field all the complaining citizens when you work for such a corrupt bunch of boys.  She doesn't get the respect she deserves- I wonder if the Commander will ever let her know that he escorts citizens out the back door, letting her think they're still in his office hours and hours (eye roll) and hours... later! I doubt she signed up for protecting the corrupt bullies but hey, its a job! 

Don DeMers

After serving on the force in California, this pillar of law enforcement retired honorably enough. Here in Kitsap county he is the one private eye running the show. They all work for him, including the cops. All the attorneys use his services. If your attorney gets some info for you from a PI, its probably Don and remember he got information for your opposing party about you too... which one of you has more money? That's the one will get his best fiction. Yes, he too will spin a tale if you pay him more than the one you paid to get the information about. There should be a conflict of interest rule for PI's preventing them from playing both sides.   Seems to me it ought to be illegal for the local PI to use the local police to run STING operations on private citizens phones for civil matters.  Makes you understand why all the cops and sheriff deputies refuse to help when the victim points the finger at their moon-lighting "boss"

Rachelle Tate

The ONE Sweetheart! This lady rocks all the way! Only reason she's on this list is you will see her name in the documents. She is polite, respectful and sweet as pie. 

Saeed Saber

Scumskimmer Saeed is Crocodile Chucky's supervisor. When I told Scumskimmer about the audio recording which proved Chucky was a big fat liar;  instead of being concerned that his employee would commit perjury- he became enraged, called me a criminal and threw me out of his office.  Oh yeah, what a Sweetheart ScumSkimmer. We have evidence that he colludes with not only Chucky but the other GAL's to take women's kids away from them.  Is there one honest employee at the Juvenile end of the swamp? We're working on finding out. Stay tuned to find out more about the way these swamp dwellers work together in the business of  baby snatching (legally of course?) !

Scumskimmer Saeed

Erik Wofford

more to come!


more to come!

Steve Olsen

more to come!

Please reload

Please consider donating to support our work and help us afford legal advice
Thank you!